 Fr Mark De Battista
Fr Mark De Battista is a priest in the Wollongong Diocese. Ordained in 1995, he recently spent four years in the USA working with university students in Champaign, Illinois and Greeley, Colorado.
This will be his fifth WYD.
“Lord, show me your will, but let it be my will...” This used to be my prayer as I was discerning a call to the priesthood, now over twenty years ago. I realised that at a deep level my struggle with the priesthood was the prospect of ‘giving up’ marriage and family life.
In my simplistic understanding I knew that embracing celibacy meant that I had to give up sexual and romantic intimacy in order to embrace a wholehearted love for God. What I failed to realise was that when calling a young person to follow Him through a life of celibate loving, God does not ask the person to give up all forms of intimacy and affection. Indeed, in order to life an authentic human life, a person must have friendships with members of the opposite gender as well as with his/her own.
Celibate loving is precisely about another form of loving. After all, Jesus Himself lived a life of total commitment to the Father through celibate loving and He lived life to the full.
Nowadays, many think that living a life of celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven means living one's sexuality in a dysfunctional way; or at least living life in anyway, but to the full (John 10:10). Of course, this would be true if celibacy meant living without love but this is not what Christ calls for in those whom He desires completely for Himself in religious life or priesthood.
When speaking about celibacy, Jesus Christ mentions that some “have made themselves so for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven.” (Matt 19:12a) Implied within this is a deep love for the Kingdom which is strong enough to lead someone to voluntarily give up marriage and family in order to possess the “pearl of great price.” (Matt 13: 45-46) Moreover, Jesus makes it very clear that this is not for everyone, thus implying that celibate loving for the sake of the Kingdom is a gift from God (Matt 19:11).
The book of Genesis shows us that even before any sin ever entered the world Adam was still incomplete: “It is not right that the man should be alone. I shall make him a helpmate.” (Gen 2:18) In other words, perfect communion with God without communion with woman was insufficient to fulfil the heart of the man. This is not because God alone could not have sufficed but, because He made human beings such that they find their deep fulfilment in friendships with both genders of the human race. Furthermore, it would be a mistake to understand this passage as simply being an exclusive reference to marriage. After all, the woman was given to the man primarily as ‘helpmate’ not as wife. (Although, the latter is clearly not excluded!)
Finally, we are told by St Luke that “with Him went the Twelve, as well as certain women who had been cured of evil spirits and ailments: Mary surnamed the Magdalene,...and many others who provided for them out of their own resources.” (Luke 8: 2-3) From this it is obvious that Jesus had many friendships with women and it would seem some deep ones as well.
Jesus’ celibate love for the Father opened up his heart to love both men and women with a deep, warm and self-sacrificing love. It’s the kind of love to which each of his followers ought to strive.
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